I object.

Objectify one you objectify them all.

That’s what I think anyway.

There are many men and women today who would probably prefer for their significant other to only look at them with sexual desire. To be the only one their boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife looks at and wants to touch or while thinking,

“I want to see more.”

Unfortunately, while many want their significant other to only look to them with this desire, they aren’t willing to do the same.

Picture this: You see your partner staring lustfully at someone else, whether on the street or on the screen. You turn to your partner, lock eyes and say,

“I want you to look only at me like that.”

But, if you are in a relationship with someone who looks at other men or women with lust, as sexual objects, that means on some level, that’s how they see you too.

So by asking them to look at you like that, you are, in turn, asking them to view you on some level as a sexual object. And objects are not loved, they’re used.

You are telling your partner that you want them to view everyone around them as a person, to respect them all. Everyone but you that is.

It’s not enough to say, “I want you to look only at me like that.”

Instead, we should be saying, “I don’t want you to look at anyone like that.”

In the second case, we are refusing to stand by while someone close to us objectifies other human beings.

The sad fact is that all too often this doesn’t happen. Every day men and women alike look at people with unbridled lust in their eyes.

Some say that this is fine, acceptable, there’s no avoiding it. A kind of “boys will be boys” mentality. Sound familiar?

However, while I agree that as human beings we are all flawed, I refuse to subscribe to the notion that we are akin to animals, slaves to our instincts or base desires.

We are more.

There is a line between acknowledging that another person is physically attractive and looking at them the same way you would a steaming hot meal.

The line is crossed when you want them. As if they were no more than a plate of food that you crave and just want to taste.

Sexual desire itself is not wrong, it’s as natural as hunger or thirst. However it is not on the same level as these things.

Hunger and thirst are applied to mere objects, food and water.

On the other hand, sexual desire applies to people, living, thinking, feeling beings with their own thoughts, values, and desires.

It is comparable to our desires for friendship, affection, and companionship. When we want to be someone’s friend, we want to be closer to them as a person. We want to understand them and to know more about them.

The trouble with sexual desire arises when it turns to lust. When we treat someone as an object to be wanted rather than a person to be known. That is when we objectify them. That is when we stop treating or thinking of them with the respect of a fellow human being.

Each of us has the power to desire being close to others as companions and as friends, instead of just wanting to see what’s beneath their shirt or pants.

People aren’t objects, and none of us should be looked at as one.

If you think that you sometimes objectify others, even without meaning to, consider this:

Next time you see someone and you think they’re pretty or handsome, just stop there.

Just as you can notice someone has dark hair or green eyes, you can simply notice that someone is beautiful.

You are under no obligation to go beyond that.

Stop before you look at them the same way you’d look at a bowl of soup (something you want a taste of). Instead look at them as a fellow person, a fellow soul (someone you could know).

Look at them, and yourself, with love and with respect.

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Sweet Nothing

You ripped my heart open then whispered, you’re beautiful

Throwing up honeyed words you shaped your mesmeric mask

Drawing me in you lifted soft lips to my ear

And breathed sweet nothing

 

Then you left me, beaten and wanting

My mangled heart greeted fresh air

The gashes cried my love and blood

Dripping them down among the dirt

 

The earth choked through the desecrated drops

Permeating the crust they mingled with clear water

Reservoirs grew nebulous with their dance

And furthered the forests